February: I’d Buy That for a Dollar!

February’s theme is “VHS tapes I bought at Amoeba for $1.” I know, I know – I’ve been busy, give me a break! Anyway, here’s the lineup. Even though the selection was a bit haphazard, I’m still excited to watch these.

February 3: Malone (1987) — If this movie doesn’t contain at least one scene of someone shaking their fist and yelling “MAAAA-LOOOONNNNE!” I’m going to be very disappointed. I mean, scroll down and just look at this cover. Burt Reynolds and his mustache are looking to leave their sordid CIA past behind them and start a quiet new life in a small town. Then some stuff happens and guns and explosions.

February 10: Dr. Giggles (1992) — Tagline: “The doctor is out … of his mind.” More text from the box: “Larry Drake, who won back-to-back Emmy Awards for his portrayal of Benny Stulwicz, the mentally retarded office boy on L.A. Law, stars as a diabolical doctor with a sharp wit—and even sharper scalpel—in this horrific tongue-in-cheek thriller.”

February 17: Slaughter High (1986) — Tagline from the VHS box: “Marty majored in cutting classmates.” OK, let’s review. First of all … high-school students don’t have majors. And if they did, they wouldn’t major in “cutting class.” And … well, anyway, there’s an additional tagline that’s even better: “Where the student body is going to pieces.” Hah! Now that’s some good slasher-movie humor. This movie is about a guy who received disfiguring burns in a high-school prank and then, five years later, hosts a “class reunion” for those who done him wrong so he can off them in various creative ways while dressed up like a jester. Because why not? While writing this summary I realized that I’ve actually seen this movie before on one of Joe Bob Brigg’s late-night shows, probably when I was about twelve.

February 24: The Street Fighter’s Last Revenge (1979) — This “martial-arts actioner,” according to the VHS box, is the ORIGINAL CLASSIC and the third in a series “which are thought to be particular favorites of director QUENTIN TARANTINO.” Sonny Chiba stars as a martial artist who has to stop gangsters from stealing synthetic heroin from a pharmaceutical manufacturer.