Don’t worry—there are still more Christmas-themed horror movies to come. But let’s take a little break this year and have a Patrick Swayze Christmas instead.
December 4: Youngblood (1986)— Sexy farm boy Rob Lowe wants to be a pro hockey player, and ends up on a minor-league team with Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves.
December 11: Road House (1989)— Martial artist. Bouncer. Philosopher. The Swayz’ at his finest.
December 18: Next of Kin (1989)— Patrick Swayze is a Chicago cop looking for justice after his brother is killed by the mob. Will he stick to the side of the law, or take the side of his hick brother (Liam Neeson) in delivering some extralegal vengeance? Hicksploitation in the big city!
December 25: Red Dawn (1984)— Patrick Swayze leads a group of high-school kids in fightin’ the Commies when Russia invades their small town. NO POTLUCK. Instead, we’ll have a traditional Jewish Christmas at Great Wall Chinese. (More details to come.)
This month’s theme honors our national holiday celebrating colonial genocide and the roasting of dead birds. Yay!
11/6: ThanksKilling (2009) — “Gobble gobble, motherfucker!” Yes, it’s a horror movie about a killer turkey. Since this was only made a few years ago, following our past experiences at potluck I fear that this may be too terrible even for us…we’ll see.
11/13: Blood Freak (1972) — Oh, Blood Freak. What can I say about this movie, except that it’s a sordid tale of drug abuse, turkey farming, and blood drinking. To say any more would spoil it. Don’t miss this one, seriously.
11/20: Bloody Bird (aka Stagefright) (1987) — OK, so there are no turkeys in this one…but there is a serial killer with an owl mask hacking up a bunch of actors. Michele Soavi (Cemetery Man) directs his first feature film.
11/27: Home Sweet Home (1981) — A mental patient escapes on Thanksgiving and wrecks a family’s holiday. Nothing wrong with an 80s slasher about Thanksgiving!