September: R.O.U.S

“Rodents of Unusual Size? I don’t think they really exist…”

September 7th: Food of the Gods
H.G. Wells’s classic tale as envisioned by B-movie director Bert I. Gordon.
September 14th: Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Chipmunk Adventure
AL—VIN!!! This is the 80s cartoon movie, not the creepy-looking live action version with Jason Lee.
September 21st: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: the Movie
…because of Master Splinter. Duh.
September 28th: The Killer Shrews
Okay, okay: shrews aren’t technically rodents. Whatever. Directed by Ray Kellogg (who also brought us The Giant Gila Monster).

Food of the Gods PosterTMNT

Final Girl Film Club: The Car

for the final girl film club:
The Car
“Oh great brothers of the night, who rideth out upon the hot winds of hell, who dwelleth in the devil’s lair; move and appear!” -Anton Levay.

“Satan is my motorcar” – Cake

Oh NO, Oh God! Oh No Oh God…. “I wish i would have thought to pull over when i could before an evil-stalker car could run me off a cliff.” The Car opens with beautiful long shots of two kids cycling in Bryce Canyon, Utah. Coming up fast behind them in first person is The Car. Eventually they are quickly overtaken, rammed repeatedly and forced down a cliff by the menacing and mysterious black car.

The Car quickly takes out a hitchhiking hippy with a french horn, and later the old sheriff deputy.
The following day The Car makes an attempt on a parade. The marchers quickly scramble up a hill to the safety of a cemetary which apparently is a no-go zone for the Car. Lauren (Brolin’s love interest) decides its a good idea to insult the car with such clever quips as psycho-idiot-horse’s ass and Cat Poo! The marchers remain unscathed, but the Car enraged drives in frenzied circles and then takes out half of the sheriff’s department because Satan really hates cops. Oh and to not be out done The Car starts to stalk Lauren and eventually flys through her house because Satan holds petty grudges.

Enough is enough for Brolin, so the remaining sheriffs plan to trap the car and force it off a cliff and blow it up. In order for the plan to work they pull Amos, the curmudgeonly racist, wife-beating dude out of his jail cell to help them set dynamite charges. Here’s the interaction between Amos and Deputy Chas.

Chas: *has Amos by the collar
Amos: I’m a tax payer you savage – You’re choking me you damn Injun.
Chas: Sit um down! (in mocking Hollywood Native American voice)

Anyway, Brolin and Co get the job done. Satan is seen in a ball of fire as the Car takes a plunge down a cliff. woo hoo.

Lessons learned:

One: Dont taunt satan with silly insults or he’ll drive through your living room.
Two: Spousal abuse is fine as long as you give your dynamite to the police to fight Satan.
Three: Hippies with French Horns probably had it coming anyway.
Four: James Brolin has a sexy moustache

Just to let you know this movie rocks! everything you’d want in a 70’s thriller

I feel as if the people who made The Wraith were inspired by this film. The beautiful Southwestern scenery and the car chase seens, small town sheriffs and a mystery car and driver. No real tangible connection but there are a lot of things about this movie that could lead one to create a fine film like the Wraith. Thanks Final Girl, looking forward to the next film club.

August: Basketball!

By request, a month full of basketball players who think they’re actors.

August 3: Space Jam
August 10: Afternoon BBQ followed by Mischief Brew @ 924Gilman or Punch/The Separation @ 2844 union
August 17: Double Team: Dennis Rodman and Jean-Claude Van Damme!
August 24: Steel or Kazaam starring Shaq Diesel!!
August 31:Airplane! (Kareem Abdul-Jabbar)